


Sweetheart

by Falconette



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Sweet, romantic, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falconette/pseuds/Falconette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In your final high school year, like all those years before, Nagisa is your swim club team member. But this time, there is no next time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweetheart

  **Sweetheart**

_I huffed in frustration, thoroughly exhausted by the training session, as I climbed out and sat on the pool’s edge. Waiting for some strength to return to my tired limbs, I took shallow breaths and observed the male part of the team perform the same routine, only faster, stronger and, seemingly, with less effort._

_With envy, my eyes slid across their muscled torsos and mighty arms; swimmers’ traits chiseled into their bodies by countless hours of training, tools and weapons they took for granted. I and the other girls on the team swam the same distances, did the same exercises, but our bodies simply didn’t hold the same potential for power and speed. They could always rely on their brute force, ignoring finesses of techniques, to pull them through._

_No matter what I did, they would always get more from the same effort._

_“Don’t compare yourself to them.” A friendly but firm voice came from my side, in a characteristic sing-along tone. Nagisa has been my friend and team mate since childhood and, despite his immature appearance, had keen insights. It wasn’t hard for him to guess what I was thinking._

_“Girls and boys compete separately for a reason.” his gentle, smiling voice spoke slowly and reasonably, concerned that I really grasped the point._

_I sighed, knowing any denial or justification would be a waste of breath. Of course, he was right. With him, it was safe to show my frustration and weakness. With him, I could never be negative for long. Even now, as he winked at me with that serene smile he usually wore, I felt the anger melt despite myself._

_But still, there was some bitterness left on my tongue, the stubborn, childish rancor. My eyes slanted down to his chest and shoulders which have clearly not been as developed as torsos of his teammates and my mouth formed a seemingly innocent string of words:_

_“How do_ you _compare yourself to them, then?”_

_He just closed his eyes and smiled widely, dismissing the question._

*  *  *

Months later, I have found myself at the poolside again, dripping wet and drained from training, watching the swimmers from my school go through their routines. Rei Ryugazaki in particular. For someone who started swimming so recently, not only has he been making enormous progress, but was also handed the captain title – a choice he firmly justified.

He swam by me, blending with water and reemerging in butterfly sweeps, his back muscles rippling, slick and powerful. Last tournaments have been approaching and everyone has been pushing him and herself hard, especially the captain who had to set an example. He turned and swam by again, my eyes following him until he reached the other end and then shifted to see Nagisa gazing at me from the water.

There was something about his expression, the unfamiliar somberness in it, that caught my eye.

As the training session neared its end, I noticed he wasn’t around so I hurried to changing stalls ahead of others to find him. He had promised to lend me a textbook where he had marked parts important for an upcoming final exam but for all his frivolous appearance, it wasn’t like him to forget an agreement.

“Nagisa!” I called to the empty tiled room and rows of changing stalls. I thought I heard a slight ruffling sound from the sole closed door so I approached, discreetly knocked and repeated more quietly. “Nagisa?”

The noise was now louder, startled.

“Is it about the textbook…” his voice trailed off from the inside, muffled and damped. Then he added, in a strained attempt to assume his usual carefree tone, “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten.”    

I straightened up, my eyes wide with surprise.

“Is everything alright?” I instinctively inquired, not sure if I was intruding. I was expecting to get an automatic, socially conditioned affirmative response in return and was already preparing to walk away, but instead he just sighed.  

Something in the pit of my stomach knotted.

I thought of what to say for a moment, then just pushed on the door. He hadn’t bothered with the latch when he occupied the stall so the door swung inward slowly, opening up a gap for me to see inside. Nagisa was sitting on a bench, his legs pulled up to his chest and forearms resting on his knees. Beneath the shadows of his thick bangs, his eyes were blank and tired.

“What happened?” I breathed, feeling my pulse speed up in mild panic as I tentatively stepped in, the door swinging shut behind me. This wasn’t the energetic, positive Nagisa I knew, this was a stranger.

He looked up at me without raising his head and for the first time since I met him, I felt his gaze heavy on me, scanning my face, trying to decipher something from my eyes.

“I don’t. I can’t.” finally, he uttered to himself.

“What?” I came closer, not sure I understood correctly.

“I owed you that reply for ages, but I just couldn’t make myself say it out loud.” Nagisa’s voice was a dejected whisper. “I can’t compare to them.”  

I opened my mouth to say something and then I remembered the conversation he was referring to, my cheeks stinging with sudden pang of shame.

“I can swim with them, be friends with them, but in the water, I cannot compare to them.” He continued in a monotonous tone, unrecognizable and unsettling, “That didn’t bother me, though, having fun together was the whole point. But…”

Nagisa’s voice suddenly broke and he dug his face behind his crossed forearms. I felt my hand tremble as I placed my palm on one of his shoulders. He was shaking, despite the fight his body put up not to.

“What happened, please tell me,” my own voice came out stronger than I intended, jagged with growing concern. “Nagisa, please.”

He raised his head suddenly, defiantly looked me in the eyes, his cheeks streaked with tears.

“Do you like Rei-chan?” his voice was steady and direct despite his gleaming eyes.

I crouched there dumbfounded, trying to make some sense of his question, the whole situation, my own tumbling emotions. I never thought that seeing Nagisa’s crumpled form would affect me so deeply. I got used to his steady, casual strength and stability that he displayed in his own, uncharacteristic way and only now did I see how much have I come to take it for granted. The thought of the Nagisa I knew disappearing was scaring me badly.

“Who? N-no.” I mouthed eventually, my eyes still looking for an explanation in his. He scanned my face for something and then, satisfied with what he saw, unfolded his arms and sat up straight. Something in his expression changed, some of the former confidence returned to his body language, letting me openly see his wet cheeks.

In fact, I was the one feeling embarrassed and confused.

“Do you…” he began, but his voice betrayed him despite the reemerging sanguine attitude. He blinked couple of times, mustering courage and then, without a warning, leaned in, closed the space between us and kissed me on the mouth.

The shock hindered my reaction. His kiss was so light and fleeting, it might have been a friendly peck if it wasn’t for the look in his eyes and the intimate tone of his voice, void of usual frivolities, that made me listen to him carefully. From somewhere behind me, a part of my mind registered voices and noise of people slowly trickling in for showers and into changing stalls but that was all happening in a world not concerning this one.

“This is the last year of us being teammates, only a few more weeks till the end.” he explained, unperturbed, with a wan smile on his lips, “And my last chance to… tell you…” He drew in breath and began stringing the words clumsily, “It took me a while to… it has been in my face for so long that I simply didn’t see it. Only when I realized this really was the last season, it had hit me hard. And after Mako and the others went their own ways last year...”

He looked intensely in my eyes, it was important to make me understand. This was not some boy who was splashing around me in the pool or who used to cry when his parents didn’t bring him ice cream when they’d come to pick him up. Even in this dusk, I could make out discreet stubble on his chin and jaw line, the wideness of his shoulders, the strong, melodic of undertone his voice.  

“I don’t want to lose you too. I want you near me, not only as a teammate and a friend but as…” his fingers hesitantly floated towards my chin, the fingertips tracing feather-like caresses across my cheek. “…as something more.”  

“Nagisa, I…” I stumbled over my own words, looking at the well known yet unfamiliar face before me, dazzled by his mature presence. The earnest, serious look in his eyes had me mesmerized. I never thought Nagisa’s touches could be so daring. And so pleasant. The weirdest thing was – his hand on my skin did not feel out of place at all.

Without a conscious decision, my hand had reached up, clasped mine across his fingers and my head leaned more snuggly into the warm cradle of his palm. If felt perfectly molded for me.

“Did I make you cry?” I asked quietly, so our teammates outside wouldn’t hear.

Nagisa shook his head emphatically and resolvedly, “My own cowardice did.”

There it was again, his earnestness that made _me_ blush and break off the eye contact, feeling my chest and my cheeks burn. Funny that he, one of the bravest people I knew, would concede to such a thing.

Did I feel something more for my friend than just sypathy?

I closed my eyes, sensing his proximity, his warm presence in the confined place and felt completely at ease, comfortable and safe. I wanted to stay like that for a long, long time.

At one point our friendship had evolved into affection without me noticing, slowly the bond grew thicker, deeper. Essential. It was in my face too, I just didn’t open my eyes to see.

No, I didn’t want to lose him either, I wanted to stay with him after today, and the next tournament, and when the school was over.

This time it was me who found his welcoming lips in semi-darkness, in our private heaven of stillness in the middle of outside din, and crowned our friendship. For the first time, I allowed myself to feel their touch, to sink into their softness and put all the confusing, ambiguous thoughts behind me.

There was no doubt anymore, just letting go that wasn’t falling but flying.

I leaned in his embrace, his slim figure, the floating hair pressed against mine, holding me tenderly like I was a precious jewel.

“Let’s stay here until everyone leaves. It would be trouble if they saw us leaving the same booth.” Nagisa whispered conspiratorially to my ear in the impish tone I knew so well and stifled my reply with another kiss.

And that is how we stayed, long after the lights went out.


End file.
